Should You Break Up And Get Back Together

A friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend, but started having second thoughts about the breakup. She asked me if I thought they could break up and get back together. I told her that I thought it depended on a few things:

You often hear people say that relationships take work, and that is true, to a point. The reality is that many of us close our eyes when entering into a relationship. We totally ignore all warning signs that this just isn't going to work out, and we often cling to the sinking ship long after we should have jumped overboard.

A good relationship with someone you are compatible with will take work, but not as much as if you try to force something with someone you simply aren't compatible with.

You can't fit a square peg in a round hole and that's what many people try to do with their relationships. They know deep inside that this person isn't right for them but for some reason they feel the need to hold on tightly. Maybe it's the fear of starting over or being alone, but in the long run you risk being miserable instead of being happy with the right person.

So to answer the question of getting back together after a breakup you have to be honest with yourself about the reason you broke up.

Most often when a couple breaks up it's because things have gone so far that it's difficult, or impossible, to fix. If you could identify a problem and fix it right away before the resentments and anger grows you'd have a better chance of saving the relationship .

Most people are in denial and don't want to rock the boat so they ignore the small problems and before they know it those small problems have grown into huge problems, and by then it's usually too late.

If you've broken up over small generally insignificant differences and you're both mature enough and willing to openly discuss the issues then yes, by all means, get back together.

But if the problems have grown too big and the resentments have gone too deep then it's probably best not to break up and get back together. Just learn from your mistakes and move on. As painful as this might be in the long run it will be less painful than staying in a bad relationship.