APPROACHING HER

You probably have a woman in mind that you want to woo or maybe you don't and you just bump into a woman and you were instantly attracted to her , the first thing you would want to do is to have a conversation with her. I have noticed that most men find it difficult to approach a woman and initiate conversations with them.

Initiating conversation with a woman is a big challenge for most men, some are unsure of how to do this in a respectful manner without sounding rude to the woman; some can hold their own once the ball starts rolling; some cannot converse with a woman at all because they are too shy or timid while some find it hard to communicate at a casual level with other people (men and women inclusive) but feel very comfortable talking about topics such as football, politics, science, religion etc.

The most important thing to keep in mind when approaching a woman is that first impressions are priceless and are established within the first three seconds after you introduce yourself. This means that there is no room for error and you should also know that chatting up a lady is not like in the movies where you can just walk up to a girl and drop some cheesy one liner: then they are in your bed the next morning.

Don't use pickup lines because they make the lady feel cheap and it destroys conversation. It's hard to think of what to say afterward. Instead, start with innocent small talk, and you will have a base to build an interesting conversation on.

A trick that never fails to work, is to focus all your attention and energy of the creature before you and behave as if nothing else exists in the world. Focus on what the woman needs and not what you need. For instance women are a creature of drama, and will prefer a soap opera to a sport game.

Women sense and are turned off by insecurity, so make sure you look and act confident. Groom, dress, move, and pursue like a man who is secure with women and with himself. Be yourself don't fake it.

Start by first talking and later making friends with the person you think is special. Most people don't like to jump straight into a relationship, especially girls. Find a reason to talk to the person. Make sure that they want to talk to you. Just talk about something that keeps the conversation going.

Be yourself and don't lie just to get to a special person's heart. If they find out later and you're in the middle of a deep relationship or maybe a time when you really need that person, they will leave for good. Let the person know that you like them. Beyond the cheesy sending a note through a friend, talk to them about something you both have in common.

If you are meeting the woman for the first time strike a conversation with her and let her know that you admire her and would want to know her better, introduce yourself and ask her for her name and number, if she is interested in you she would ask for your number, if she doesn't don't despair she might be the shy type or the type that believes it is a man's duty to do the chasing.

Tell her that you would call her but don't tell when. Make sure you call her as promised her and ask her for a date. If after the first date two dates what you expected was not what you got or you find out she is not the kind of woman you would want to have a permanent relationship with. Let her know that you could just be friends or break it off don't toy with her feelings. Because if you go on a date with a woman more than twice, she concludes that you are having a permanent relationship with her.

If you have known her for long, maybe you have been friends for sometime and you just realize that you want more than friendship, let her know the level you want your friendship to get to. Don't nurse your feelings for her in secret or assume that she wants the same thing. She might be romantically involved with somebody already or she might not want more than friendship with you.

Probably she wants you too but does not want to cross the boundary of friendship. Talk with her, tell her how you feel. Act fast before someone beats you to it. Don't be like these two...


Timothy and Veronica

Timothy and Veronica grew up together, they went to school together and were very good friends. As they grew older Tim realized that he was romantically in love with Veronica and assumed that Veronica knew how he felt, he never told her.

He did everything a man does for his lover for Veronica, he was always the first to call her on her birthday, he bought her gifts on her birthdays, Valentine's day, on every occasion that gifts are exchanged and even when gifts are not exchanged.

He took her out on dates; they went to the movies, games together and with friends. They were always paired together by their friends. She was the first person he talks to about things that where bothering him and decisions that he wants to take. They were closer than some married couples.

Veronica was in love with Timothy as well, but she is the kind that believes that a man has to make the first move to initiate a relationship. She was secretly praying for Timothy to say the word but Tim never said anything, because he assumed they were already dating. Veronica's clock was ticking, she wanted to get married but she was turning down all the men that were coming because she was waiting for Timothy to say the word.

When she was twenty nine, she was sent abroad by the company she works in for a six months training. Whilst there she was still in touch with Tim, exchanging gifts with him, communicating with him daily. She was still expecting him to say the word but he never did. Then she met another man Gabe at a mall, she liked him a lot but she was not in love with him.

He asked her out for a date. A month after their first date he popped the question that Veronica has been waiting for Tim to ask for some time "Will you marry me-"

Veronica was surprised but she asked him to give sometime to think. She was confused because here is Timothy, whom she loves and has known all her life but he has never told her that he loves her or told her that he wanted more than friendship from her. And, here is Gabe that she likes very much and has known for only a short time is asking her for marriage. "What should do-"

She asked herself, she has to get married and she can no longer wait for Tim because she does not know how he feels about her. So she said yes to Gabe and they got married after two months.

When Tim heard about the marriage, he was very angry and he called her all sorts of names. But, she told him that he never told her how he felt.

Now....what is the moral to this story- The moral is..... If you love a woman let her know immediately...Act fast!